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Upper Decky Lacrosse


D3 Party Rankings
Colorado College This school is up and coming, like fucking in an elevator. I had the chance to spend some time out there this past...
Oswald Van Bismark
Apr 113 min read
1,754 views
0 comments


Ford's weekend wrap up
Sorry for the lack of output guys, there's been a lot of work to do at Stroker and co for the past few weeks. I gotta say, last weekend...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Apr 83 min read
253 views
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My Top 24 High School Teams.
Calvert hall The Cards have been dominating all year ever since coach Bryan Kelly mandated creatinemaxxing and daily shroom cart rips. 3...
Marcus Meadowcroft
Apr 15 min read
282 views
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Ford's Nescac Top 10
My Nescac top 10 players. Nobody from Hamilton here they fucking suck this year, and I don’t think I’ll write a good thing about them...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Mar 284 min read
227 views
0 comments


My 5 Worst Teams of 2025!
It is about that time of year when the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, kegs are being tapped, and I am ready to unleash all hell...
Oswald Van Bismark
Mar 253 min read
1,426 views
0 comments
Ford's Weekend Wrap Up
Bates started off the season hot, but somehow they ate shit against Midd. Midd didn’t have a great start, and hasn’t won a single game in...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Mar 193 min read
509 views
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Greg and Ford at a D3 game.
Spent the past couple days on a ski trip with my rich friend, and coworker here at the firm, Ford in Vermont. We ended up at a D3 tilt...
Greg Swisher
Mar 93 min read
750 views
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Ford's Nescac Week 1 writeup
Great weekend for the Nescac sector of the firm. I was on my yacht getting a blowie from Naomi when watching the games this weekend and...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Mar 43 min read
373 views
0 comments


What the Hell is happening with Syracuse?
Throughout the last two weeks, I have tongued the bag, tongued my Venezuelan mistress, blacked out nine times, and thought about what the...
Oswald Van Bismark
Feb 252 min read
1,001 views
1 comment


Ford's Thought's on Bates vs F&M
In D1, there were some crazy upsets, but back in D3, the most competitive conference is still mucking box, repping out 325 in fitness...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Feb 232 min read
659 views
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Tan Gambling - Week 3
Well gents I am getting absolutely thunderfucked by DraftKings sportsbook right now. I got a DM on IG from some guy claiming to be a...
Tanner McCormick
Feb 203 min read
565 views
1 comment


Marcus's Week 2 Player Spotlight: Connor Davis (Bucknell)
This right here fellas an alpha fucking male. From the way he walks, to the way he shoots, even the way he takes a piss, Connor Davis is...
Marcus Meadowcroft
Feb 192 min read
738 views
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Syracuse vs. Maryland: Behind the Postgame Boozefest
Over the weekend the Maryland Terrapins took down Syracuse with a final score of 11-7. This outcome absolutely shocked the fuck out of...
Oswald Van Bismark
Feb 172 min read
1,223 views
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Tan Gambling - Week 2
Well boys, back down to earth. I basically got exactly what I deserved after starting last week's article off glazing the fuck out of...
Tanner McCormick
Feb 143 min read
312 views
0 comments


Iona vs. Hampton: Behind the Postgame Boozefest
February 9th, 2024, history was made. The Iona Gaels beat the Hampton Pirates by a score of 13-9 in front of a crowd that was about three...
Oswald Van Bismark
Feb 102 min read
1,233 views
0 comments


Our Staff’s Weekend Preview!
Iona vs. Hampton- Ozzy This matchup is arguably the biggest one on the slate this weekend, as one team will make history and the other...
Oswald Van Bismark
Feb 74 min read
889 views
0 comments


Michigan vs UNC: A Deep Dive
What’s up you fucking morons. Preston Carmichael Prescott III here, back with a vengeance after a bit of a hiatus (I was on a 6 month...
Preston Carmichael Prescott III
Feb 74 min read
587 views
0 comments


Tan Gambling - Week 1
Gentlemen, I would like to start off by saying you're welcome. 2/2 on official picks on the weekend (let's take a moment and appreciate...
Tanner McCormick
Feb 73 min read
529 views
0 comments


Ford's Liberty League Rankings
The Liberty league is a gritty conference in upstate New York full of machines who can sling the rock just as well as they can sling...
Ford Blumpkinton VI
Feb 34 min read
116 views
0 comments


Tan Gambling - Week 0 #SoBack
Ladies and Conservatives, it's that time of the fucken year. College lax is back, Trump is back, and America is back. It's been a long...
Tanner McCormick
Jan 303 min read
662 views
1 comment
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