Throughout the last two weeks, I have tongued the bag, tongued my Venezuelan mistress, blacked out nine times, and thought about what the fuck is going wrong with Syracuse lacrosse this year. They started out the year on fucken fire, sexually assaulting Jacksonville, Vermont, and Towson. Their offense looked like porn and I honestly didn’t see them dropping one game this year besides maybe Notre Dame. But for some reason, the Orange have absolutely collapsed in their last two tilts. A loss to Maryland seemed like a mere wakeup call, but this recent loss to Harvard was pathetic. They went up 5-0 early and I literally turned the game off because I figured it was over. Their offense was spinning the rock and the defense was stout. Not sure what the fuck Gait put in the gatorade but this was one of the worst displays of lax I have seen in a while. Harvard threw the fucking kitchen sink at em and then some. Word on the street up on Euclid before the season started was that this “was the best Syracuse team in 20 years”. As of right now, they could easily find themselves in the bottom of the ACC come May. I’m going to keep this shit sucker free, the game against Colgate on 3/22 is no gimme. The only bright spot as of late is Johnny Mullen, who has been ass raping every Fogo he’s gone against this far. Their goalie situation is cooked right now, and where the fuck is Jordan Vincent. Coaching is the issue here, not lack of talent, on or off the field. The Syracuse ship certainly has some holes in it, but for now, it will float. They should kick Utah’s dicks in on Saturday. I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette and cup some sack.
Gary G-Man better be sleeping on the cold leather couch in his office and cranking his hog to AOC with that showing Saturday. Pitiful.