
Ladies and Conservatives, it's that time of the fucken year. College lax is back, Trump is back, and America is back. It's been a long offseason, and going straight from the mecca of the lacrosse world with the National Championship straight into having Paul's Liberal League shoved down my throat (no Rabil) sucked. But we are #SoBack and with the 2025 season right around the corner, let's quickly review last year's #PowerTan record and take a look at my picks for week 0.
2024 Season Record
Record: 17-20
Risk: $4,576.00
Winnings: $4,690.33
Net Gain/Loss: +$114.33
The Natty fucken saved our asses last year. The two Notre Dame futures kept us above water in the net gain category, and even though we started hot and fell off a cliff towards the end of the season with a negative picks record overall, we made the right picks at the right times and ended on a high. While Powers will not be a full time installation with me this year, I'll be consulting him on picks throughout the year as well as your favorite members of the #Burnerverse, so keep an eye out for those picks as well. #TheMathersWay
2025 Season Record
Record: 0-0
Risk: $0.00
Winnings: $0.00
Net Gain/Loss: +0.00
Feels good to start off with a fresh slate. If there's one thing we learned about college lax gambling last year, it's that the books had no fucken clue what they were doing at the beginning of the year but smartened up quick. We're going to need to be much sharper this year, so let's get started off on the right foot here.
Navy -1.5 @ High Point. +114
Wager: $50 to pay: $107
Rutgers -1.5 @ Lehigh. +124
Wager: $50 to pay: $112
Week 0 is always fucken tricky. So many new guys on every team, so many new coaches and schemes, and so much random bullshit while teams are trying to figure out their chemistry and get their feet under them. All 4 of these teams come into week 0 receiving votes but unranked, so we're making some bold predictions here. I think Navy is going to surprise a lot of people this year in D1 this season, and only a guy like Tampon Tim would pick against one of our great nation's service academies. People forget that Navy went into Homewood Field last year after having multiple bus delays and butt fucked Melendez and Co. without a warmup. That shit was badass and I think Navy gets off to a 1-0 start in 2025. As for Rutgers and Lehigh, Lehigh is fresh off of winning the Patriot League in 2024, and Rutgers had an underwhelming run for the B1G after running into a hot Penn State team in the first round of the conference tournament. I expect Rutgers to right the ship this season and show up to Bethlehem PA ready to punch Lehigh in the mouth and show the rest of D1 they mean business this season. Rutgers has studs all over the field (shoutout the Kurdyla brothers) and brought the king of tilt onto their coaching staff so I'm excited to see what they bring to the table here. #NiceAnalysisTan
A few notable Tan Gambling updates from last year:
Not going to include the entire season bet breakdowns at the end of each article. If you don't believe me, you're a lib and you can go back through and check for yourself. #NiceHonestyAndTransparencyTan
No more solo plays. Every play made in these articles, including the plays from special guests, will count towards the season record. #HardMode
We will still be hammering whoever is playing The Mount on a frequent basis (Queens, Iona in this category as well). Honestly, you could ignore every single thing I say for the entire season and get rich off of fading The Mount. If that's the only thing I say all year that you pay attention to, you're welcome. #FadeTheMount #TheMountIsntReal
Happy 2025 boys, let's have a year and earn ourselves some free bar tabs. 🆓🍻🔜
can somebody please make a god damn book for division 2 lacrosse?