I went to the zoo with my buddy Sequoia the other day, both wearing our bluntstones, killing some diet snapples, and talking about the high upside of Quinnipiac lacrosse but then looking at the Chimp exhibit got me thinking. Would a team of chimps be a good lacrosse team if they could learn to play? I think the answer is yes. Dude. If there was a team full of chimps, it'd be chaooooos. You couldn't do anything, you couldn't face off, you couldn't pass the ball. If you don't think a chimp would beat anyone in the nation in a ground ball scrum you haven't been paying attention to the literature. Everyone is always down for more Chimps in society but they don't know, they always think oh uh they're pretty cute and all it's like no Deborah from Boulder CO they aren't friends with you, they'll rip your face off, your feet off, and fuck your ass I mean they'll do all kinds of things. Like they feed Chimps in zoos fruit and stuff, but they really like to eat monkeys man. Literally, 200-pound chimp pure muscle downhill speed going straight to the cage, like you aren't stopping that. I mean it would be a serious problem, they would beat 2022 Maryland if you don't think a Chimp could learn how to pick up a long pole and lock down Logan Wisnauskas you are wrong. If you don't believe me look up a picture of a chimpanzee without hair, it's crazy how much muscle they have. Fast Twitch muscle fibers splitdodge to a step down I mean you aren't stopping that. I think that we are lucky chimps haven't learned to play lacrosse yet, because it'd mark the end of the sport for humans.
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