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What Ivy League Schools Party the most?

1. Dartmouth


If there is any correlation between losing games and sending the hardest, these guys symbolize that. This is a program that picks up more cases of Natty Light on Saturdays than ground balls. The fact that a Keg is their fucking mascot speaks for itself. Their unorthodox style of Beer Pong separates them from the rest of the league. Their unique mixture of Borgs separates them from the rest of the world(all vodka, no water). Dartmouth sure isn't the place to win games, but it is indeed the place to get shitfaced, get nasty with blondes or brunettes and explore the great outdoors that bum-fuck New Hampshire has to offer.


2. Yale


I could have put Yale at Number One, but they just win too many games. Built on hard work and talent, these guys will bend you over for 2 hours all game and then take you out to a nice seafood dinner after. The point is, these guys know how to get after it. They have the perfect combination of "brains, brewskis and bros". If you want a winning experience plus a live party, pack up your stuff and head up to New Haven.


3. Brown

Out of all the schools on this list, Brown's student body gets after it the most. The flock of Brown U students are always pulling up to the games getting rowdy. God knows what is running through their veins. Brown has the type of players to score a low to high cannon and then point at the smokeshow blonde in the front row and pull a Baker Mayfield(iykyk). They will chief the hell out of Strawberry Kiwi JUUL pods and then have a nice glass of red wine.


4. Penn

Considering that Zyn Lacrosse 5 Star, Quinn Whipple is going here, need I say more? This guy is the definition of a sender. He's the type of guy to take a punch to the face and then get down on one knee and start shotgunning a Twisted Tea. Gives off a 2012 Meek Mill vibe. Downtown Philly better watch out. Go Birds.


5. Cornell

Very similar to Yale and Penn, these guys have a great balance of winning and stewing. Located in a nice town of Ithaca, a lot of birds are floating around. Not much needs to be said about these guys.


6. Harvard

Although this is a team trending in the right direction, I'm not sure if they even know what the word fun means. These guys will occasionally slam some stews and wheel some broads but that is once in a blue moon. One thing for certain is, don't bring your girl around the Harvard lax team. One second a fella will offer you a shitty-exotic IPA that tastes like straight camel piss, and then in the blink of an eye he will have your girl on her knees in the Fantasy section of the Library.


7. Princeton

I don't know what to say here. Rumor has it Tik Tok boy, Tyler Sandoval has these guys wearing butt plugs while hitting the "renegade" every Saturday night. Not sure if I would call doing tik tok dances with your "buddies" partying...but whatever floats your boat.


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