If any of you read my article, "What are some of the Top D1 Players Go To Drinks?" you probably saw the part where I said Luke Weirman was going to deliver 3 consecutive hours of hard anal to Tyler Sandoval. And boy oh boy could I not have been more right! Mickey mouse Sandoval got raped in his glory hole against the Terps. Tik tok boy went 6-16 in the 11-5 loss. Odds are he went home and drank Wild Berry Trulys and listened to Marvin's Room until Coulter Mackesy convinced him to go out to the Gamma's Victorias Secret party. We'll, unfortunately for Tyler he got booted at the door. He had no chance of smashing any 9s that night so who really gave a fuck. Rumor has it the bouncer told him to go finger bang Sam English and jerk off to a Addison Rae and James Charles try on haul from American Eagle because he wasn't getting any pussy in here.
In terms of Maryland, the boys were fucking buzzing. Brian Ruppel got his first career start in net and delivered big time. Cousin Rupp was definitely cheefing the fuck out of the Skywalker OG pack before the game. Maybe even mixed in the always reliable elfy too. Danny maltz also played with his dick out as he has 4gs and 1 apple. He definitely fucked the shit out of Tillman's great niece after the game. Koras also had a 4loko Gold pregame as he went for 3gs and 1 apple. Safe to say he was walking into the Delta house with his howitzer beaming straight at the rocket blonde named Kelsie. I heard he got the best dome piece of his life after this game. Anyways shout out to the terps for dragging their reptilian balls all over the Looney Tunes tigers. Hope to see the boys buzzing again next weekend as Notre Dame comes to town. Should be a fun game. I'm definitely gonna need to jerk off and rip the elf bar before this one. My dick will be pointing to the sky all game. Anyways, good tidings to all as we concluded another epic weekend of lax.