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Weekend preview from the staff

We got quite a slate for this weekend fellas, the staff is fighting embezzlement charges so abbreviated preview this weekend. Go out and have a day, maybe mix in a seltzer or a pen.

Duke at UNC, 12pm Acc Network

Intriguing tilt. UNC is about to go 0-4 in the acc and 6-8 on the year and Joe Breschi will likely keep his job. The only reason this game excites me is 1. It’s a rivalry 2. Probably going to be some hot blondes in the stands cheering for Owen Duffy. I don’t think Carolina has a chance honestly. I can’t even express my disappointment in Joe Breschi for wasting Pj Zynsners senior year and UNC blowing cock for 3 years straight now. I see Duke ending this at the half with Uncle B putting on a show and having some of his patented autistic spasms. Expect Benn Johnston to play like he’s on K (he is) and Charles “daddys money” Balsamo to have an absolute fucking game and then cover the boys tabs after with the platty Amex. Gotta love it. Duke 15-7.

UVA ND - Saturday 2pm, ESPNU

In probably the pièce de résistance of D1 games this weekend, Pkav and his goons travel to Charlottesville to take on its inhabitants. This is the last ACC game of the regular season, the last game of Notre Dame’s uncannily short schedule, and a chance for Big Country Cormier to do something cool in his final year with the wahoos. Insidelacrosse was focused on the individual matchups in this game, fuck that lets enjoy some great team lacrosse in beautiful Charlottesville Virginia and show Pelosi why she shouldn’t have let us get to the weekend. Expect Devon ‘noice complaint’ McClane to go crazy here after seeing the UVA girls in warmups, 3g 2a incoming. Griffin Shutz, the SARMS goblin himself might run over Will Donovan but it’s cool because Will makes music and will bang your mom then dj your wedding. Sneaky under the radar guys Fulton Bayman and Max Busenkell might not get a ton of burn for ND but I hear they’re both showers and pack a combined 32 inches of dick between the two. Unfortunate that they’re administering that package at ND but it's still respectable to be hung that well. For that specific reason I’m giving the Irish the edge here, 15-10. I just wish that I could see more Wills Burt.

Penn State vs Rutgers - Saturday, 3pm BIG10+ 😩

Happy valley, nestled in the Appalachian range, vibrant in the fall, a kaleidoscope of primary colors bursting from every direction. But as you approach Panzer stadium, one hue becomes vivid. The Penn state lacrosse stadium will be a sea of white Saturday at 3 as they take on the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers in a rematch of last weeks big10 matchup. If you’re familiar, the nits got busy and thrashed Rutgers 15-9. However Rutgers has a bunch of nailguns like Colin kelly, Jack Simone , Andrew macheca and Shane knobloch that make this game interesting. Still I predict 14-11 Penn state tomorrow, and that is for two reasons. 1 is that they bang sexy birds and 2 is that they do blow. When I said a sea of white I didn’t mean a whiteout theme. Let’s be real. I meant blow. Snowing in late April? It always is in happy valley. The Nittany lions are seeking vengeance from a wrongful final four exit last year, and I expect them to bring it all for this big 10 tournament.

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