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Writer's pictureOswald Van Bismark

Victor lacrosse: Americas team?

Holy shit boys I mean like what the fuck those Victor boys are actually them. Saw a post on Laxdotcom and had to look into them. St. Mary's was in a fucking mental torture chamber all game and couldn't get out. Guava ice Gravino absolutely nipped ched for the OT barn burner winner and then fucked the shit out of the St. Mary's goalie's girlfriend. Rumor has it the Victor boys went out to downtown Annapolis and got absolutely shitfaced off of Moonshine and PBR and then to make matters even better, cracked open Coach Dan Stone's Chardonnay collection on the bus ride home. Apparently the blue devils also went out to A-town the night before the Calvert Hall game so it was clear that they were hung balls in their lopsided loss to Calvert Hall. I also heard that assistant coach Mark Foeder held the funnel for Assistant coach and former Cuse player, Jamie Trimboli as he ripped 5 consecutive butt chugs in a row between the hours of 12 and 1 am the night before the game. They also went out to the bars after as well. Can't blame any of them cuz there is an abundance of ass and freaky, prep girls who can ride like a horse jockey in Annapolis. The attack Trio of Pax Marsh, Gotham and Hennessy Herendeen absolutely ran through the McDonough girls lacrosse team as well. My buddy Locust gave me word that even though Victor is labeled as a "Public" school, they have guys coming in from all over. Locust said that the northwest region of Rwanda and the Central Valley of New Mexico have been spewing out players like a fucking a 13 year olds cock who just discovered pornhub. Another pal of mine, Lakota said that the Victor swim team analy penetrates each other with a 17 inch strap on before every match. Not sure if the lax team engages in the same activities but either way the boys are buzzing. I heard Sam Ricci strictly drinks Bud Light's for fun so I wouldn't put it past the them. All in all the fellas are playing good lacrosse right now and my dick was pointed to the North Star when they pulled off that upset. Congrats boys!

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