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The worst week of my life. Greg’s Top 20.


Pretty much every team I like lost this week or weekend and I’m hurt bodied hung. Decided to go out with the boys to our local bar the Rodeo Roundup and I was bar shitting typing some of this up. Bar shits are cool it’s fake news that you’re a creep for it. Was in there for 20 minutes and some loser wearing vejas kept banging on the door saying he lost his vuse in there. A lot of you liked the story I posted about it so I’m glad to see the lacrosse community come together on such an important issue. Whatever boys back to lacrosse.


Honorable mention:

Caitlin Clark

Ana de Armas

Delaware

Drexel

Zach Bender



20. Harvard

Losing to fucking Dartmouth at any point in a game is enough of an insult. Nothing else for these pud pullers. Will try to stop hating once maznik arrives on campus but hoping he transfers after realizing how horrible his life will become. No hot birds at this school Jared!!!


19. Bryant

Lalibertes gameday story posts get me stimulated every time I see these things. Feels like I’m back at Andover rippin tequila shots off my sophomore girlfriend Caroline’s jugs when I see his content. Johnny Hackett continues to be gross. Love the dogs.


18. Colgate

Boys came out ready to go against the black knights. Still a little pissed at them but the PL is a wagon this year. Every team can probably upset anyone, but could also barely beat Hampton in overtime. Basically these boys can win if they don’t overdose on some Demi lovato the night before. Drouin is a hockey name though Hunter. Wrong sport. Johnny Hartzell and I smoked weed and beat the shit out of a gorilla last night. Johnny danger is his new name.


17. Rutgers

KEEP SLEEPING ON KNOBTHROB. Best player in college lacrosse oneill and Shelly are shitting bricks watching this guy. He’s starting to get some hype from the big pharma companies finally, seen 87 clips of his snizz from Sunday. Rutgers is cool, hoping to see some of them this summer for the UD squad.


16. Richmond

Spiders goon their way to victory over Hobart. This was an absolute milk fest. Grayum must have read last weeks article cause bahd scored 7 goals at 78% shooting. Must have had some blue haired folks waiting in your bedroom big man. Legend of the game, and possible name of the year winner, Lucas littlejohn with an assist and the sky is is the limit for this fella. Hope he got to drink some Konas this weekend.


15. Quinnipiac

I’m at a loss for words. Would never say a mean thing about my pookie bears but what was that? It’s fucking sienna boys my kids MadLax team could beat those fellas. I hope you guys stop with the fent Fridays and stick to blow on the night before a game. Comin up to praccy tonight and having you guys run full field buffaloes for 2 hours. I will forgive you by tomorrow but I’m taking the mojito hot tub privileges away for tonight. I hope you guys all double team a Marist mother and rethink your performance.


14. Bahston U

The boys from bahston are straight bahllin out right now. Just beat a power house in holy cross and will barnes might be Lisan Al Gaib. Perfetto may have earned the nickname Iron Fist with 4 nips. We thought this team would be gross at the beginning of the year, they shit the bed. Finally coming alive. Celebrinis a pussy.


13. Denver

Sillstrops sphincter is looser than my wife’s panties after 3 pregnancies. This team is so fraudulent, just wasting everyone’s time. So hype to watch the Hoyas play around with the pios.


12. Princeton

Kabiri and Mackesy continue to carry the tigers around. Couple other fellas performing but this is kabiris team. Kabiri and I threw empty cans at York alumni Sunday night was a blast. Kabiri said that no matter how bad his life was, he’d never consider playing for that bum squad. Good kid.


11. Yale

Actually happy they beat Penn I hate to say it. Brandau must have worn his red tube top Friday night for good luck. His closet consists of a box of veggie straws and pictures of the local New Haven fire department ladder teams. Benoit from ladder team 2 seems to have taken a liking to big boobies brandau. Happy for the guy.


10. Cornell

I mean nice win over cuse but it was pretty Mickey Mouse. Recently found out that ref who ejected March is employed by Cornell and Cornell is undefeated in games he refs. Look, shitty refs can ruin a game it happens. It was pretty one sided in this game a lot of bad calls and dumb flags. That being said it will still be a win on their resume. Just don’t understand how the NCAA would allow this ref to call another game. No hate to the big red, kirst is a hammer and this is the one Ivy team HQ actually kind of likes. Just disappointing to see a game ruined like that. I’m sure they would have come back and made it a game regardless of those calls but a tainted win for sure.


9. Maryland

This team has struggled and also looked unreal. I’m sure other polls have them higher, but these bad losses are worrying. Could see them winning the big ten but could also see like Michigan workin em in the first round. Strange year for the terps, but we are not sleeping on em.


8. Penn St

The nits worry me. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd half, but they just look like a different team out there. No joke, I took my pants off when I saw posey out there, but a sad day for Penn st fans. Fracyon is so damn good at lacrosse. Boys just ust didn’t play well, look for them to bounce back shortly.


7. Georgetown

Crazy that banks is the one pole I’ve seen shut pkav down. Only tough game in the big east on deck. If you boys win this one you’ll be top 5. Recent games are closer than id want, but conference games always tend to be tough. Bundys dandruff is covering my wife’s pillow. God dammit.


6. Army

The boys have not looked the same as of late. Ever since the BU game it’s like I’m watching a different unit out there. Bad news? Schedule doesn’t get any easier, the PL is legit this year. Good news, they’re just playing sloppy. If they were ballin out and losing I’d be worried. They just can’t catch and throw right now it’s a fixable issue. Damn happy to see eicher return to good form. I’m bringing them like 800 cigs this weekend to get em dialed. Smelling salts and labatz boys. Time to wake up.


5. Syracuse

Like I said earlier, Mickey Mouse. I blame the refs a good bit, but also just gotta be better. Definitely the better team than Cornell, but in classic cuse fashion we saw a collapse. Stupidity is how I’d describe their play at times. Tough love, sorry boys. Shooting near the end of the game was detrimental. I trust the boys to figure it out but they sure as fuck better beat unc. Hopefully gait has learned the offense by now.


4. Johns Hopkins

Ever since I called these guys frauds they have shut me the fuck up. Garret degnon is officially gross, usually I hate on him cause I hear his name 87 times a game from carc but now that I have them on TV # 4, I don’t mind him. Hatty against the nits and is as top prospect for our summer team. Angelus only shot it 3 times, if he’s shooting 5+ a game this team will be a wagon. Back to being a contender, apologies for the doubt.


3. Duke

Impressive performance against notre dame. Entemann ate up everything but still, they looked good. Brennan needs to do more man, that’s my biggest critique. He’s damn good but just continues to disappear. 17% shooting isn’t a winning recipe big guy.


2. UVA

Was talking to this kid at blackrock and he pointed out how uva isn’t beating some of these teams by as much as they should be and I punched him in the face immediately. He has a very good point though. They keep letting these team stick around when it should be a 20 goal game. Clear number 2 behind notre dame but I want to see more dominant wins. McCabe wasn’t allowed in at trin so I’m preparing a 76 page lawsuit against them. Some bullshit if you ask me.


  1. Notre Dame

Clear favorite to win it at this point. First pick in the PLL draft? It’s time to seriously consider entemann or Pkav. Starting with entemann, I don’t even know if these defenses he’s had are good anymore, he just bails his squad out whenever the fuck he feels. Almost getting annoying at this point. The mathers way works kids, entemann said after the game it’s all because of the mathers way. Get better, hit the wall. As far as pkav goes, he’s just fun as hell to watch. Coked out of his mind trying to fight everybody. Would be no surprise if he’s hooked on rabies. Team is a wagon, expect a repeat.

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