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The public school reign of terror continues as Radnor fondles ANC, Malvern prep



Victor slips past #5 St. Marys. Darien fondles #1 Brunswick. How could this week get any better? Well, let me tell you. Radnor High School, filled to the brim with blue collar warriors, has dethroned #12 Malvern Prep and #8 Academy of the New Church in the span of a week. If I had to think of three words to describe these boys they would be grit, grind, and marby reds. I hadn't heard much about Radnor before, but I know of some of their notable alumni. Cuse man up weapon Jackson "Busch Lite" Birtwistle, Grant Pierce of UNC, and Rala legend "Crazy" Chris Begier of the Bucknell Bison. Currently, the Radnor Raptors have the likes of Colin "Lefrenchy" French and big boy Nate Luchessi, who had stellar weeks, and also guys like Pablo "Uruguayan Undertaker" Strid, to compliment them.

Kessler “flipping” Cox wheeling broads, circa 2023

These guys first played Malvern prep at their home turf and showed them a good time with a 15-7 win, despite Malvern poaching hella Radnor kids from what I've heard. The newly crowned mickey mouse 5 star Michael Ortlieb had a measly 1 goal for the Friars, with certified nailgun Luciano Chadha chirping the shit out of him and staying on his gloves all game. Ortlieb even tried to sneak off to the bathroom during the 3rd quarter to escape the mental torture chamber that Chadha put him in. Malvern is currently on a 4 game skid, and don't look like they have a way out with Haverford, Episcopal, and Delbarton scheduled for the next week. They are certainly shivering their timbers. Captain Buono will need to control his fiery temper, and makes sure he keeps an eye on Jacob Shalev.


After they ripped apart Malvern Prep, the fellas headed to Academy of the New Church, to a shitty grass field, and gave them a taste of their gritty, veiny public school cocks. A nice 11-8 victory over ANC propels Radnor into what looks like a bit of an easy stretch for them, with teams like Marple-Newtown coming up. It also looks like they'll host Lower Merion (RIP Kobe), and end the regular season with a trio of good home games to tone them up for yoffs. These Radnor lads are grinding to make it out of the mud, and public schools are on the rise all across the United States. So before you decide to drop a nice $50,000/year or more on your kids private school, consider buying a house in Wayne, PA instead.

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