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Syracuse Vs Duke: Greg’s breakdown.


Boys last night i think I witnessed a dragon flying outside my window that kept telling me to run from the eastern winds. Sure I was shooting up with some black tar with my buddy Quincey McLongstaffington post Wednesday night heater, but still, what a fucking night I just had. I think Drexel legend luke tomak also showed up in my hallucinations on horseback with an Indian headdress on yelling Cherokee war chants.


What a fucking game we just watched. I fucking hate duke. Not because of lacrosse, but because of basketball, so it carries over into lacrosse. Once you put on that jersey I will hate. Not like Ivy League hate, but still some mild hate. I will however, show respect when they perform. Only players I will tip my hat to are Patty Jameison and that absolute pepperoni of a man Jake Naso. Jameison stood on his head, dukes lucky to not have allowed 15. Naso found Kohns koke stash pregame and must have went full double black diamond with skrilla bumpin. Outside of these two hammers, fuckin dog shit. My 3 month old son (a duke fan) looked up at me and said “Dad why does brennan only perform against the shit teams?” He has a very valid point guys. Sure he can score 13 against Onondaga community college but against Penn(fags) and cuse he’s disappeared. Remember when Spallina was getting shit on for not putting up crazy numbers against big teams? Double standard here IL and you other bitch companies that rub oneills feet for a living. Oneill is very good, but might be the most overrated “top player of the era.” Look at other greats, pat Spencer, Lyle Thompson , Chris kavs. They all fucking performed when it mattered. Go ahead though, break out your fuckin knee pads and choke on his par 4 dogleg left all you want. Greg sees through the bullshit. Very good player, but nowhere near these other legends of the sport.

Now for why we’re really here. The boys in orange are a serious contender. I’ve been hyping them up a bit because I’m obviously a bit of a fan, but like what did I just witness in the past couple weeks. Starting with Will “messiah” mark, this dude is a fucking animal. Like a 78% save percentage against duke is outrageous. Best goalie in college lacrosse. This isn’t a fucking argument anymore. Uncle enty and Mcnaney would be my 2 and 3 behind him. From what I’ve heard, he’s a solid dude who just loves boozing on Tuesdays and swapping spit with the women’s soccer team. On defense Figueras or however the fuck it’s spelled and Dwanny molested zawada and oneill like a priest with a catholic middle school child. Happened to me, not proud of it, but it happens man. Dwan might be the toughest matchup for oneill in the sport. Not saying he’s the best pole relax faggots, just a big gritty fucking gorilla who isn’t afraid to get dirty in the corners. Told Caccamo to give dwan the old smelling salts on the TP trick the night before and I guess Caccamo took that to heart. Sending some Red Bull vodkas north for you bill. On offense, I can’t lie, they didn’t even look that great. Jameison played well but some of these shots the boys took were pretty retarded at times. Looked like my old teammate Chadwick Cumbersnicker with a busted wing at our beer league games. Fucker was such a ball hog we traded him for a 6 pack of Labatz. Spallina hate can rest, he’s not gonna dominate someone dodging one on one but is the clear qb for the offense. Draws the attention away letting the other guys get these chances. Hiltzy with another half retarded half Jesus performance and birtwistle with no assists fuckin love that. Leo and rhoa continue to be underrated as fuck thanks to Ty xanders that little fucker.

I did not expect cuse to win one game against the big 3 before the year started but here we are.

Not sure if Cuse is just that fucking good or if duke is just some mid this year.

I’ll be celebrating at a bruins game tomorrow with the Weiss law firm in our season box tickets and probably get a restraining order from the blonde chick who serves us wings and manhattans in that bitch. Time to get excited for the weekend slate but todays tug sesh is gonna be a strange one.


That’s all fellas.

Cheers, Greg.

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