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Rutherfurds Remarks: My thoughts on the Ivy League

Writer: Chet "Chetty" RutherfurdChet "Chetty" Rutherfurd

Well, I'd say I told you so about this league before the season but I mean I did tell you guys so. While the Ivy has some favorites of mine with the Mclane Bros, Marcus "Gustavo" Wirtheim, Terry, and some of the other guys on Brown, and then Ginder 2.0 on Princeton, and maybe even Collin Bergstrom on Harvard. Outside of that I'd say the Ivy League is a hot mess of dudes with the wrong priorities. Lot of the guys in the starting lineups just care about what internship they land over the summer or what firm they land at after they graduate. I mean sure Yeah maybe that does matter a little bit but it won't be fun when uh you don't make the tournament and your girlfriend is in Hartford CT watching the real men play ball and then winds up at the natty champs after party. We got guys like Sam Handley with a foot out the door already talking about his dumbass "business venture" he's got lined up next year being some sort of entrepreneur, sounds like a con or a pyramid scheme if I've ever heard of one. We have Cj Kirst getting wet willied by the Villanova Hammer Jack Cerza and then to compensate Cj goes and Stat pads against bums to make himself feel better so Terry Foy will glaze him a little extra. Then Yale, who's taking an ass whooping the last three weekends, has starters like Patrick Hackler posting weird shit on his instagram so he can get accepted into his Skull and Bones ass Secret Society. I'm not sure what this young man sees to gain from this, maybe the satanic rituals will help yale win a damn game. Outside of Brown this league is a dumpster fire, Brown would be undefeated in the Ivy if it weren't for their seniors getting suspended for partying a bit too hard. But what do I think these guys can do to improve? I'm not sure, but I think if Tyler Sandoval sent us over his Moms Amex I'd be a happy camper. I think this league honestly deserves one bid that being whoever comes out on top.

The Hammer himself showing his dominance over Cj kirst, Circa 2018/2019

 
 
 

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