top of page

Round 2 outlook with Greg.

Well boys, Greg is here to give you a much needed article about the upcoming weekend. I spent the early half of the week in Quebec yelling “baguette” at all the French Canadian losers who never touch bag and meat ride Trudeau. Stanley cup playoffs have had me abusing my PCP stash and yelling racial slurs at myself in the mirror. If the Bs complete the comeback I’ll get a Lars Tiffany tattoo on my scrotum. But we’re here for lacrosse so let’s get into it.

Predictions last week were pretty solid, expected more from Princeton and Penn state, but I’ll cry about it somewhere else. This weekend should be fucking electric, I’ve had a bloody nose for the past 7 hours in excitement and the large amounts of blow I’ve consumed.

Starting with game number 1, a rematch between Georgetown and Notre Dame. Notre Dames only loss on the year, but expect a different outcome this time around. I don’t think the first matchup was a fluke necessarily, but I’d be shocked if the Irish can’t win this one. Banksy vs Pkav is enough to get everyone horned up for this one. Banksy owned him in the first game, will be fun to see how it goes this time around. Banksy is studying abroad this summer in London unfortunately for him. Enjoy beans and whatever the fuck those commies eat over there. I got a life sized eric Dobson toy to keep my wife satisfied in the bedroom, thanks cousin Dobson. I’ve got notre dame winning this 14-9. Love the Hoyas, I just can’t see a way for them to win again.

Game 2 is Maryland vs duke and as I said last week, if Maryland gets past Princeton, I can see them winning against duke. That prediction stands strong. Not sure what Tillman does before the playoffs, but Maryland always looks miles better than they did earlier in the season. Always just posted on that sideline in the Maryland tarp and lulu lemon ABC trousers, what a fucking man rocket. Ajax is on a god damn mission right now. His dad’s net worth is 12.3 million last time I checked just by the way. Ajax loves Batman, (if you haven’t seen his gameday stories every fucking week) and fent. Ajax Fentatello is what the Tri Delt broads call this cannon of a man. Brennan being the most fraudulent superstar in college lacrosse history will hit a new high this weekend. Greg knows ball. If dukes gonna win, zawada is gonna have to carry. Malever and spanos are gonna have themselves a day.

Maryland to win 12-8.

Game 3 we’ve got Denver vs Cuse. I knew Denver would use their necromancing abilities to get past round 1 but rhoa will end their little run this weekend. Michael Leo is built like a slightly autistic ray lewis I fuckin love this guy. I’d go to war for this guy. Rumors he’s dating “Big Shamika” from the women’s rugby team if anyone can confirm let me know. Jordan Vincent has flipped a new page and started writing poetry last Thursday to enhance his skill set. Sillstrop vs figueiras will be fun as hell and stathakis vs kohke might motivate my kids to do something with their life. Mic Kelly is going to ball out, be ready for that. Kid eats his wheaties with Andy towers wife’s discharge. Heard he records birds he’s boned like portnoy does with miss peaches for his tiktok. Concrete mixer right here.

Cuse to win 16-15.

Final game of the weekend is UVA vs Hopkins. This is the only one I can’t decide on. Jacob “jawline” Angelus vs big country. Hunter “what does your dad do” Chauvette vs Connor “Carbone” Shellenberger. Round 1 between these teams was electric and I expect the same here. Im going with UVA to win this one but fuck is it gonna be close boys. Can’t wait to get skull fucked by Carc saying the names Degnon and Shellenberger all game just double wristing the both of em. Never let chase yager shoot the ball again Lars. That shot was what I imagine rj kaminsky is capable of. Joey terenzi has gone up like 50 points in my book this season give him the rock. Did Russel Melendez sing to the boys during that weather delay? If he didn’t I blame the coaching on that one. Heard he listens to shawn mendes before games. Sussssssy.

Final score 17-15 UVA.



835 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page