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Penn State finishes Ivy League trifecta by shelling Cornell


Penn state is officially back, and they're fucking rolllllllllllllling. After a close game against yale, followed by a thrashing of Penn, the nittany lions went down to Ithaca and forcibly fondled Cornell in a defensive battle, sweeping the Ivy League portion of their schedule. Their schedule doesn't get much easier playing a full slate of Big 10 teams, but these guys definitely have the balls to come out of the regular season ready for May.


Like I said before, this game was a defensive masterclass. Jack Posey held CJ Kirst to 2 and 1 and probably got some life changing dome from Kirst's mom after. Posey had Kirst looking like Sam Handley, shooting 2 for 13. Grant Haus held down the d mid position with a pair of caused turnovers and followed it up with a great off-field performance in the Phi Mu house. In goal, certified nailgun Jack Fracyon ripped a few percocets pregame and played out of his fucking mind with 16 saves for 73% on the day. I love how this guy plays, and had to watch this game from home so I could stroke myself in privacy to his balls-out play style. Cousin Chase went a cheeky 50% from the dot against Cornell's mickey mouse duo of Psyllos and Cascadden, who both looked shaky. Petrakis didn't play, I heard he got injured pregame while naked wrestling Kirst in the locker room. On the offensive end the elf bar Traynor bros continued their dominance, Jack scoring 2g, 2a and Miller lite Matt ripping a hatty. Heard these boys got after it with Gavin Adler's chick in a threesome postgame after thrashing him on the field. Kevin "2 pump" Winkoff facilitated the offense with 3 assists, and Jake Morin and TJ malone both ended the day with 1 and 1. As a whole, the nittany lions look scary, and are definitely a threat to come out and win the Big 10 if they keep this up.

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