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Writer's pictureFord Blumpkinton VI

Ford's Weekend Preview


I don’t know about the rest of you but my Fent Friday started off great.  I was in my catamaran The Reel Deal eating caviar off my wife Naomi’s knockers, when I saw the schedule this weekend.  It got me so chubbed up, I didn’t even need a cialis to finish the job with my wife.  It should be an electric for everyone who follows nescac and d3 lacrosse as a whole.


Bowdoin vs Wesleyan: A real toss up because this can be a barn burner or a blowout. Wesleyan beat Tufts, they have a stacked offense with nailguns like Dj Dixon, Jack Raba, and James Bailey. Very offensively heavy team. However, losses to Midd and Trinity however indicate that these guys might not have the grit to handle the pbears. At the face off dot, I smell Bowdoin domination, I think EB will have a field day. Wesleyan has a ton of depth on Fogos, Jackson Tinari I think is their best one, absolute beauty out of the South Jersey shore but none of them are going to get the better of EB. If Nick Kopp wasn't able to do it, I don't think anyone else in the Nescac could either. Bowdoin has a high powered offense but their defense has been lights out, half of their games they held teams to under 10 goals, and the past 3 games, have been no different. 


Tufts vs Amherst: I expect Tufts to win, but it will be tough. Tufts is a team built on high powered offense, and elite transition, their defense is underrated, but I don't think their close defenders can slow down Brendan Rielly or Bob Gross like Bowdoin did. Because tufts is such a transition based team, if it becomes a battle of transition, that is where a guy like Bob Gross would thrive, finding soft spots in the fast break or slow break. I think he'd be looking to atone for his sins in the Bowdoin game and wheel some slightly mid dust birds from the Boston bars post game. Nick Kopp is a damn good FOGO and gave EB a great fight last time. Tufts doesn't have Mason Kohke but Parker Merrill and Victor Salcedo are very underrated. Should be an entertaining battle at the x as well. We watched Michael Ayers take it to the rack by himself against Bates, and Naomi got up from the leather couch after we live streamed the Tuft's game and there was a soaking wet spot on the cushion. If Kopp doesn't win it to himself cleanly, Michael Ayers could be a big problem for Amherst. 


Trinity vs Midd: Middlebury is good, but so is Trinity. Midd has a ton of talent, and the only teams they lost too were actually really fucking good. They also beat Saint Lawrence. SLU has been overrated by IL to the point it makes me wanna vomit all over the inside of Terry Foy's ugly Honda Odyssey that most definitely has crusted cheerios between the car seats. Aside from a CNU squad that watched Williams fishhook their birds raw and tell them to keep their kids, SLU has had no notable wins. They have some chillers like Judge Murphy and I hate to say those guys might be frauds, because this is no fault of their own, but they're frauds. Midd can give Trinity a good fight, but their loss to Hamilton indicates that Trinity might have the advantage. Billy Curtis might get clamped, but if he does, Midd has some depth. Midd birds are mid (who would've guessed), so I expect Bo Page and the rest of the fellas to have a night with the UVM tridelts. I said before though, these guys show no mercy so don't expect Midd guys to get any kind of left over beave on Saturday if the 'Cocks go off.


Colby vs Williams: Williams has some nailguns like Will Doran and Charlie Medd. Drew Nicholson is a complete meat wagon, he is probably on a mid season cycle right now, and the even the Bowdoin bleacher bunnies couldn't help but stare at him during warmups. I think the Ephs should win this, but I honestly don't know how good of a win this will be. I better see some balls out of RJ, because that was disappointing against Bowdoin. If these guys play like they did against Bowdoin, Colby is going to give them somewhat of a fight, even though most guys on Colby don't touch a lot of bag, and probably sip tylenol and coke thinking its a good alternative to dirty sprite. However if the purple cows play like they did against CNU (it might happen because these guys are PMSing the fuck out of their schedule), it would be a blowout, and RJ, Cal Caputo, Finlay McKnight, Pat Gaul and Gavin Timoney (His role has been growing) will have their pick of the Colby moms.


Hamilton vs Conn College:  A tale of two nailguns, Peter Canterino repping the jersey shore and bringing an unmatched level of grit and assertiveness, and Carmelo Higgins repping SoCal, bringing West Coast beach vibes while packing an absolute wrench. Both guys can clearly get it done off the field, but now we get to see what both these guys can do on the field against each other. Hamilton should probably win this game, as they have more notable wins. Conn doesn't really have many wins in general, and nothing to write home about in terms of on field ability. They did put Billy Curtis's ass in a seatbelt so their defense can step up at times. Overall, Hamilton should win but I won't count out Conn completely.



Get rowdy, and enjoy fent Friday gents.  Nescac lacrosse won’t look this good again until the tournament.


Cheers, 

Ford Blumpkinton VI


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