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Nescac Tournament Wrap up: Hamilton pulls off upset of the year, End of the road for Amherst and Trinity

This weekend was marked with some great wins and some tough losses.  I beat some tax evasion charges from last month, and I was way more horned up than usual after watching Hamilton ball out in tournament on NSN. I flew up to Clinton New York, and blew off some steam with the leftover Ukrainian escorts Scott Barnard brought his boys after they clutched up against Tufts.  

Hamilton surprised the hell out of me, and clutched the hell up.  Jesse “Wrench” Delinksy scoring in overtime unassisted made Naomi climax on the couch.  The whole team fucking feasted, and I think I speak for everyone that I’m glad Tuft’s is no longer runnin the ‘Cac.  This might be the beginning of the end of their dynasty, and I’m all for it.  Hamilton is a group of nail guns, and one of the most gritty teams in the ‘Cac.  Peter “the situation” Canterino has been a force on defense, and Iron Mike Scolieri, Sean Gerbauer, and Reece Hickey had themselves a day.  Coach Barnard knew that the Boston birds and their teethy heads aren't a reward for an upset overtime win like this, and called up my Ukrainian buddy Boris and got the boys the finests blonde escorts west of Russia.  Tuft’s however, those fellas were stuck with Casey D’annolfo and his 15 inch realistic uncut rubber strap on.  To be fair, it was their second loss at home this year, and they haven’t lost at home in 5 years, and not to mention, their season is basically done unless the committee says otherwise.  So they deserve tho, especially if you compare it to last season.  And if they do make the tournament, then we know that Nancy Pelosi holds a stake in the committee. 

 Bowdoin ran a train on Williams again, getting them back for last year.  Ethan Barnard dominated the face-offs as expected, and only 2 guys on Williams actually beat their matchups and scored.  I think that Williams needs a new offensive coordinator, because Bowdoin’s defense has suffocated them completely.  Ryan Johnson, even though he didn’t score, decided to challenge his matchup and was cooking his matchup on his last 3 dodges, but nailgun Robert Hobbs denied him every time.  Gavin Timoney had a nice goal tho, I think he should be a bright spot for the Ephs, continuing the strong NJ to Williams pipeline.  Patrick Gaul didn’t have the same success he did last time, Will Byrne got the better of him on most matchups, but he also decided to dodge North-South more often.  Harp Lane and Alex Byrne balled out, and then the boys ripped some blows and got some UNE nursing chicks to come over.  That’s how you do it in Maine, well done!

Midd beat Amherst, ending their shot at the tournament too.  It's a shame that a lot of these teams which are definitely worthy might not make it, because the other leagues are taken into account.  Except for Bates, Conn, and Colby, I think that every other nescac team could go pretty far and at least make it to the sweet 16.  After the Amherst vs Gettysburg game, clearly nobody in the centennial is a threat to these guys, and aside from Salisbury and maybe RIT and Babson, nobody really stands a chance.

Wesleyan beating Trinity was most unfortunate.  These two teams are stuffed to the gills with beauties all the way from their best players to the last guy on the bench, and unfortunately one of those teams had to go down.  James Bailey had a goal and 4 assists, CK Giancola had 8 goals and 0 assist (stud), DJ Dixon had 3 genos and 2 helpers, Justin Hazard, 3 genos and 4 helpers.  This offense is well balanced and super potent.  Bo “Jordan Belfort” Page was still doing his best, and cemented his status as the best player on Trinity this year.  I think he should be looking at a Rookie of the year award.  It’s a shame the ‘Cocks had their season ended, but they’re going to recruit some studs and come back next year.  Until then, they got a few weeks to darty with the hottest birds in the ‘Cac.

Next weekend is going to be a sick weekend of lacrosse, Bowdoin and Midd is probably going Bowdoins way, and Hamilton vs Wesleyan might be the end of the road for the conts, depending on if the at large is given to 4 Nescac’s or just 3.  Have yourselve's a week, drink some mango IPA's, wheel some birds and get hyped for the tournament.


Ford Blumpkinton IV

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