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Marcus's week 3 player spotlight: Dutch Furlong

This beast has had Bucknell in his duffel bag this year, with 18 points through 3 games. He also has a sick ass name. For those that don't know, a furlong is a measure of distance, 1/8 of a mile. A certain body part of Dutch's is close to that in length, evidenced by his female roster consisting of all 1,957 female students at Bucknell. His play style also backs this up, as he plays like he has the biggest cock on the field (rightfully so). Dutch can be seen routinely getting separation from his defender, finding twine, then teabagging the goalie, his patented celebration. This guy loves to spank his noodle, so much so that he made it his instagram handle. Hailing from Gilman prep in the MIAA, you know he's got that dog, or should I say hound, in him, on and off the field. We all know lax moms are the S tier of women, especially moms in the MIAA, and Dutch has capitalized on this. He's been seen fondling milfs since his freshman year of high school! Word on the street is that Calvert Hall moms do it best. As long as he can keep up his work off the field, expect the Junior attackman to have another great year on the field and bring Bucknell to the middle of the pack in the Patriot league.

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