Starting on Friday, we had Bryant and Drexel getting a win. I’ve covered both teams in previous articles but I’m starting to think Bryant could be a serious threat this year. A great group of blue collar patriots that just understand it takes hard work to succeed. Aidan “Garbanzo Bean” Goltz actually owns a welding shop in the South Indian Ocean where he mostly works on naval battleships. Talk about hard work fellas that’s where it all starts.
Drexel, I need a win this weekend if I’m gonna meat ride. Not quite on Bryant’s level yet.
Saturday, starting off with our boys up in CT: QUINNIPIAC.
These guys came out on fire led by Steven Germain who had 7 points. Rumors that he spent the night before gooning in a sauna at the local YMCA for 13 hours with nothing but a pack of Marlboro Reds and a wrench. Nailgun certification is coming in the mail shortly. Also, we heard that “Mike Daly refused to play the game unless Quinnipiac went out and bought 200 new Orange balls to use in the game, Qpac wanted to use yellow balls (as legal per NCAA snow games). Quinnipiac then went on to shove those balls up Browns ass and then told Brown to take the orange balls with them after the win. Fuck Brown.” This is from an absolute beauty of a source, shoutout BJ. No surprise Brown complained. Their lead analyst was not happy when looking at the statistics around yellow balls to goals expected, dweeb fucking nerd team. We now hate you. Dont mess with the pacc.
Next up we have Army. Im gonna be honest here, this team might win it all. I knew the Umass game was a fluke, they just molested Rutgers (except Knobby he’s a stand up guy). Will Coletti is a monster, expect this guy to finish top 3 in FO percentage this year. Burek and Plunks got going with Big Gunnar and Eicher scoring 3. Almost forgot Jacob “Callsign: Rhino” Morin with another 3. These guys have me rock hard throughout the week while on the 57th floor edging with my buddy Ozzy. Defense was great as well, Pilate impregnated my wife mid game when he took his helmet off. Fuck you Aj. Great win fellas.
Penn State is kinda back. Bum companies have them ranked way lower than they should be it’s unreal. Keep meat riding the Ivy’s Ty Xanders and Dan Arestia you fucking losers. Cannot lie I’m a little nervous how close it was, but give them time here gents. This is a championship weekend caliber team. They’ll be better.
Outside of this we had some great games especially Cuse vs Maryland, but just had to highlight the gooners.
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