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Greg Swisher

Gregs weekend preview: Reid Colwell gets my Lulu Lemon briefs sweaty.


Well boys I’m off probation for the first time in 3 months so I’ll be hitting my local bar the Haystack Hangout with my buddy Jedidiah. Yes it is related to that incident I had with those nurses I may have sexually abused or something. My lawyer clutched up so I’m back to it this weekend.


Starting with the obvious, Syracuse vs Notre Dame. I do think notre dame takes this one at home. It’s gonna be a close game I can guarantee that. Notre dame has been gaping cuse in recent history but it’s definitely safe to say this cuse team is ready for a run. If cuse is gonna win, I would think kohke needs to step up. He seems to start slow and come alive later on. Start doing your blow routine a couple hours earlier mason. I actually think figueiras is a tough matchup for pkav. Similar to that Ty banks kid, shorter quick poles always are tougher for these short attack-men. Two best goalies in college lacrosse going at it I’m expecting some sweaty net play. Entemann we know is unreal but mark has been playing out of his mind this year. I’m anticipating Hiltz to take out his sexual frustration and go for 6 points with spallina drawing the attention away. If rhoa and Leo show up, this team seems to win. For notre dame, Dobsons gonna have to have a day. Would expect him to draw the olexo matchup so that will be tough. Whoever wins that battle gets elf bars for life. Final score prediction is 12-11 notre dame. Gonna beat my child again if I’m wrong. If carc jerks off the notre dame football team mid game again, I might have to beat my child for that too. Caccamo may have said notre dame birds are some absolute whale sharks.


Army vs unc is an interesting one. Unc has the talent to win against almost anyone but breschi needs to be put in a home. His 1980s offense is an absolute joke let Duffy have some fun, maybe next game though, Pilate will not be fun for you owen I’m sorry. Army may go ape shit this week to prove big pharma companies wrong. Burek was quiet against BU I could see a 7 point game for him. Rumors Bennet ong is suiting up at attack this game, would love to see that. Go army baby, bounce back time. US Army never loses back to back battles. My spirit animal is a UH-60 Blackhawk.


Quinnipiac. It’s time to break the silence guys. I’ve been in a bad place since they lost. I sent my ex wife Adeline multiple dick picks while shooting up some of the good stuff. Another restraining order or some shit filed but whatever. I sold my body out to some Chaminade alum and woke up this morning on the roof of a Waldorf Astoria. I’m expecting a big bounce back for the cats against those dweebs at MSM. Donnery bros are touching some bag right now from what I’ve heard and they’ll be on a rampage come tomorrow. When Quinnipiac wins my go-to stripper Cinnamon gives me half off lap dances. Get it done gents.


Uva vs Harvard. This will be over by the 2nd quarter. Uva boys have been doing social work for the women at Harvard giving them some beaver slaps and what not. Bostonian women can tend to have large teeth and dry crotch syndrome, not a fun trip for the hoos. Fuck the Ivy’s. Cormier to score 10.


Villanova vs Denver is a bit under the radar. Nova has been looking very solid as of late and they play a very fraudulent team in Denver. May watch when I’m bored or if handsome Reid Colwell takes his pants off.


Hopkins vs Michigan is a tilt between two teams who I had on fraud watch recently. I believe Angelus currently is in 2nd place in our tournament challenge so I hope he can still get dialed in after Tennessee loses tonight. If degnon scores 4, Hopkins will win.


Penn state vs Maryland on Sunday has game of the week potential. Close 2nd place to cuse vs notre dame here. I just want to see jack posey but for now tj Malone will do. Nits are winning, but a little closer than I would want out of these guys. Wienerman might go crazy and win like 75% which is why I think Maryland stands a very good chance. They’re hungry for a win after some shit performances as of late. Hype for this one hopefully my hangover wears off by then.


Few other games on heater watch:

Drexel vs Fairfield

Penn vs Cornell: go big red kinda

Rutgers vs Ohio state

Bryant vs NJIT: I hope Hackett scores 10


Gonna go carve up some powder and yell at my maid.

Cheers,

Greg.

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