top of page

Ford's breakdown of the D3 Tournament so Far

A lot has happened these past week. The biggest upset happened since Hamilton beat Tufts in OT.  It was when Washington and Lee beat Salisbury in OT.  Thank the lord in heaven I didn’t bet on that game, because I would've lost the Reel Deal, and Naomi would’ve divorced me on the spot. But I need to give credit where credit is due, I had the generals flying low under the radar on my rankings, and even fraudulent IL didn’t rate them as a serious threat.  Them being Salisbury was totally unexpected. 

Hillis Burns is a forklift, had 4 genos against Tufts.  James Haley was another beast, but he’s right out of jersey and has the offense run through him.  Him and Hillis Burns will be having the keys of W&L’s offense next year.  Unfortunately, the boys couldn’t get it done against Tufts.  As the nescac consultant, I have almost a love and hate attitude towards those guys.  They took Hamilton's rightful bid, but they outperformed almost every other Nescac team, proving it was just a fluke.  I gotta tip my cap, these guys should be putting up an excellent fight and maybe winning the natty.  It’s been time for the ‘Cac to take the hardware, but I really wish it wasn't Tufts of all the Nescac schools.

However, thank god those guys beat Saint John Fisher. I don't car how gritty they think they are, that was a fluke win against Wesleyan and it showed with their disasterclass against Tufts. The real dirty birds play in the 'Cac, and have only stallions in their offense. They didn't deserve that win, and it still pisses me the fuck off. I needed to win back my manor on the cape, and Tuft's did their job. Doesn't make me any less disappointed in the way Casey D'annolfo has been acting recently.

Casey D’annolfo has been acting hella liberal lately, and it's starting to give the ‘Cac a bad look.  He has the potential to be an absolute forklift of a human being, 3 sport athlete in college, physical specimen, can probably outdrink Peter Griffin, but everybody has some kind of weakness, it sucks that his happens to be that he probably drives a hybrid and has pronouns in his insta bio.

But the W&L boys were buzzing in Baltimore after that win.  After the Salisbury game, Hillis Burns and the entire W&L offense gangbanged two Salisbury moms. The boys were flying super high until they ended up losing to Tufts.  Not the best outcome for the Generals, and I was really hoping for those guys to cook up something sick.  The ODAC is gritty as fuck, and they breed contenders every year.  Next year, I hope to see some big things from those guys.

James Haley’s win-lose we booze attitude however is probably what stood out most to me. What you want to see in a player. After the loss, he downed a whole case of modelo in the locker room and slaughtered some beave in the streets of Baltimore.  Rumor has it he is still in the hotel with 2 lot lizards he scammed.  Gave them an 8 ball of flour in exchange for a killer two girl blowie.  Absolute genius, there's a reason why he quarterbacks their offense.  He has a bright future.

Bowdoin rolled up and smoked Midd, and then got bent over by RIT in the first quarter, and couldn’t claw their way back up the rest of the game. The defense was stingy on both ends, but RIT just put on an offensive masterclass.  Luke Pilcher was on the stallions list for a reason.  Scoring 2 goals while being guarded by some of the best defenders in the ‘Cac and arguably college lax isn’t easy.  The dirty Pbears couldn’t make it happen this year, which is super disappointing considering that they had arguably the most talent on paper that D3 has ever seen.  It will be tough to replicate this season knowing they lose so many guys.

Tufts and RIT square off for the championship, and if it isn’t Tuft’s that wins, then we know that Casey D’annolfo has been giving them soy milk on purpose to live up to the IL agenda.  In the rounds before, Midd beat Dickinson, proving just how good the ‘Cac is.  Contrary to what some naysayers said in the comments, the centennial is in no way shape or form grittier than the ‘Cac.  

Stevenson losing to Tuft’s was a shame, because there were some stallions (Ryan Quinn) on that team.  Overall, Jack Regnery has been absolute sandpaper on the offensive end, putting up 110 points.  If he gets going in the championship game, it is curtains for RIT.  All Tuft’s best offensive players have approximately twice the goals then they do assists, so clearly, these guys can do a ton of creating on their own and be relied upon to beat their matchup.  RIT however has a super attack heavy unit, two of the starting 3 have over 100 points.  They are hyper productive, and Tuft’s defense needs to lock the hell in.  If they showed up like they did against Hamilton though, RIT will chew them up and shit them back out.  Can’t wait to see this matchup, but this is the type of game that will be decided in the first quarter.  

If Tuft's starts slow, they won't recover. If they get off hot, they could win. But if they go blow for blow, I don't expect Tuft's to sustain it well against a team like RIT, because their close defense might not be enough to stop the RIT attack. We'll have to wait to see this sick matchup next weekend though.


Ford Blumpkinton VI

741 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page