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D3 Upper Decky All Americans and weekend preview

I was taking a walk and I saw Tyler Zanders give up his cardboard box he's been living in after leaving the firm, and a blowie to buy some bag (pretty sure the dealer just gave him powdered sugar in a ziploc), and that killed my mood, and made me wanna lock the fuck in so I don't end up like that. Especially because of some big moves going on in my family: My adopted Samoan son Rodrigo just commited to Auburn yesterday, so I know he'll be an absolute menace at tight end #SECBOUND #BlumpkintonMade. My bio son Ford VII is just got accepted to Winchedon (100k tuition no biggie) for high school, and I know he'll continue the Blumpkinton legacy over there.

Naturally, we threw a huge fucking party at our house on the cape, and now I have some debts to the cartel I'd need to pay off by June. So I worked some overtime at the firm, watched more Non-nescac D3 lacrosse then I have in years, and turned out a list for our D3 Upper Decky All Americans. There shouldn't be any surprises on this list, these guys are all stallions on the field, and can fuck shit up like Jordan Belfort and Danny Porush off it.

1st team

A Will Byrne (Bowdoin)

A Jude Brown (Salisbury)

A Luke Pilcher (RIT)

M Jack Dowd (Salisbury)

M DJ Dixon (Wesleyan) 

M Jack Regnery (Tufts)

FO Matthew Paoletto (Union)

SS Zack Goorno (Bowdoin)

SS Patrick Rielly (Union)

LSM John Defazio (Salisbury)

D  Michael Grace (RIT)

D Ryan Quinn (Stevenson)

D Frank Barbera (Gburg)

G Michael Marinello (SLU)

2nd team

A Clifford Gaston (RIT)

A Jake Erickson RIT)

A Luke Fisher (Denison)

M Brooks Hauser (Tufts)

M Luke Nestor (Salisbury)M John Mozrall (RIT)

FO Allyn French (RIT)

SS Braden Glushakow (Salisbury)

SS J.P Mayo (Gburg)

LSM Luke Simpson (Midd)

D Lawson Laverty (Amherst)

D Patrick Gaul (Williams)

D Joey Waldbaum (Tufts)

G Robert Hobbs (Bowdoin)

Third team

A Bo Page (Trinity)[snubbed for NESCAC ROY, Girlfriend is also a rocket]

A James Haley (Washington & Lee)

A Jack Raba (Wesleyan)

M Charlie Tagliaferri (Tufts)

M James Bailey (Wesleyan)

M Oliver Bernstein (Bowdoin)

FO Tyler Spano (Washington & Lee)

SS Matthew Sheinberg (Amherst)

SS Rory McAloon (Trinity)

LSM Harp Lane (Bowdoin)

D Ned LaVallee (Endicott)

D Alex Strauch (Swarthmore)

D Reagan McNamere (Salisbury)

G Jordan Opdahl (Trinity)

My prediction is here. I think those RIT to RPI losses were complete flukes. Bowdoin ran an absolute train on RPI, only to get dominated by RIT all throughout. Tufts has also not beaten RIT, and as much as I want a nescac to bring it home, it will probably not happen. RIT can heat up in the first quarter, and I don't think there will be an answer from the 'Bo's that will come soon enough. Against Salisbury last year, the hill was too steep to climb, so if I was gonna bet on this game, I'd take RIT.

Final Score: RIT 21-Tufts15

That's all I got this week, if you aren't on site watching the game, I expect you to be touching bag, chugging booze and tuning in to championship weekend with your boys at the shore. This is the best weekend for college lacrosse, so get the hell after it.


Ford Blumpkinton VI

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