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Bryant? Cuse Vs Maryland: A preview, and Notre Dame committed a war crime.


Bryant just waxed BU 12-6 in a pretty big surprise. Bryant being good is simply good for the game. Remember when they’d beat cuse in the first round of the yoffs every year? Me too. Starting with Jack “creampie” Lonsinger, he led the boys with 3 genos and 2 assists. Our advanced metrics show his shooting percentage outside of 5 yards falls to 13% which is mind blowing. All good though Jackie, keep finishing inside. They call Bryant the Coke Capital of the Rhode Island and look no further than this beauty Johnny Hackett. Rumors he carries an 8 ball in his left sock during games or in a smelling salts container. Rumors that he cannot read, but he most definitely can nail some beave. Teagan Alexander in net had himself a day with 13 saves and is on the lacrosse name of the year watchlist. If any women are reading this, I apologize for the water damage this kids name does to ya down under. Goalies are always weird, hope he’s one of the good ones. Americas team possibly, don’t let me down men in black.


First powerhouse game of the year this weekend I’ve been stiffed all week thinking about it. It’s a gun slinging offense vs a lights out defense. Expect Ajax to be on Spallina all game and be an absolute battle. Goaltending I’d say is damn near even although Maryland goalies seem to go ape shit against good teams. Faceoffs I’d give the edge to Maryland but nothing more than 60% I would think. The game really will be won when Maryland has the ball. As good as Marylands defense is, it’s up to Erksa and the rest of the O to get the win. Marylands offense has worried me so far, they don’t seem to have someone who can create chances every time he touches the ball. A bit harsh, yes, but that’s what separates them from the ACC teams. If the Maryland O can put up 13, I think they win this one. Granted, that holds the expectation their defense comes ready to play. Time after time though, they tend to show up against the best teams. Ajax is a top 3 shutdown pole in the country if not the best. If Spallina can go for 2 genos and 2 apples, I’d consider that a loss for Sir Ajax. That duel might be the deciding factor. Finn Thomson and Owen “Mighty mouse” Hiltz should benefit from the attention on Spallina. My prediction is Maryland 13, Cuse 12. Love the orange but I like Maryland in this one.


As far as the notre dame vs Poverty University game goes, what notre dame did was borderline treasonous. Listen lads, I’ve gotten blown out in my mens league once or twice but never this bad. If my mens team scored 3 goals we’d be running Suicides for the next hour. Kavanaughs are still gross, Jake “Girth” Taylor ripped 5 and Faison might be yuck. I want the notre dame team to do something community service as reparation. My buddy Archibald Smithsonian was watching with me and walked out after the first quarter. Bad for ratings Corrigan, at least make things interesting.


Lastly, Volk to win by decision

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