Mike Sisselberger- F.O., Lehigh
This dude is a tank. One of the best faceoff guys in the whole country. A dual sport athlete who gets active on weekends. He won’t steal your girlfriend but he will steal your mom. Because of that, I think of Mike Siss as more of a Truly/ White Claw type of guy. Could call him a pussy for this, but I call it peak masculinity.
Brett Makar- Defense, Maryland
After recently being donned the new Number 1 at Maryland, Makar has some big shoes to fill. His 6’1, 210 stature of pure muscle will make any opposing attackman quiver in his cleats as piss runs down his leg. Known to get icky with redheads, I expect him to have another breakout year. He has terrific D, and his defense is not too shabby either.
Derek Madonna- Midfield, Richmond
One of the best transfers to watch out for, Madonna is an electric factory. Hailing from the Central region of Upstate New York, all he knows is Newports and Busch Lite. This is the type of guy to plunge into the Arctic Sea, and then take your girl out to a luxurious Arby’s buffet. A real stand up guy. Loves EDM and stinging corners. Should be a nice addition to a solid Richmond Team. I expect him to wreak havoc on the Tri Delta house all season.
Connor Theriault- Goalie, Brown
Kid is an absolute house. What he lacks in height, he makes up for with Chips A’hoy. Some goalies keep a water bottle in the cage, he keeps a Budweiser tall boy on his hip at all times. Not what I would call a Lady Killer, but don’t be surprised if you see him scoop up some broads and give them the Ol’ “Theriault Special” every once in a while. I expect a huge year from him on and off the field.
Griffin Cook- Attack/Mid, Syracuse
This dude is the definition of a sender. Arguably one of the most ferda guys in all of D1 lax. He is recovering from an ACL tear, so I expect him to have a solid year. Rumor has it he has been living in Alpha Phi house. Because of his ACL tear, he has been getting a lot of “sorry pussy” this past year. Now that he is recovered, he is in full womanizer mode. He pounds Miller Light and rips Newports. The former Jamesville DeWitt product is one of the biggest senders in New York State history. Put his name in the rafters fellas. Cookie is A-1 when it comes to smashing chicks and slugging stews. Love this guys energy.
Ethan McGerald- Midfield, Quinnpiac
This guy might be a little under the radar, but don't be surprised, this guy FUCKS. The Ridgefield, Connecticut native knows how to send. He crushes stews on the weekends and wheels birds 24/7. He dabbles with Coors Light and High Noons. Some guys don't usually mix with brews and seltzers but he is versatile as fuck. Typically amuses himself with rocket blondes but has been known to dabble with brunettes. Don't let him get near your girl cuz he'll for sure dog her from behind and give her the Ol' two finger McGerry blast. I love this guys adaptability on and off of the field.