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Best chefs in college lacrosse

Brendan Curry, Syracuse (@the.hangrychef)

Just take a look at the ig. Great dude, great chef, probably keeps it quiet with his girl in the room, stings corners, crushes beers. Maybe coke too. His senior year he made a pop up bacon egg and cheese shop in his apartment with an ad made on Google Slides while Scanlan was beating his girl and running from the cops. Gotta love cuse. Also hearing Curry is a karaoke boss. Thinking about this guy, trimboli and dordevic on that middie line still gets me tingling from time to time.

Danny Alnwick, Maryland ΦΔΘ, Stony brook lacrosse (@chef.skii)

This guy is really just a reverse Scotty Pfieffer, spent 1 year playing D1 lacrosse at Stony Brook before saying fuck lax and leaving to join PF58 at Maryland's Phi Delta Theta. Now he studies pre med, cooks, and bangs preppy Maryland chicks in short skirts. Danny knows his way around a grill and his long island deli guy probably is in the mafia.

Brian Ruppel, Maryland (@ruppel_cooks)

Ruppel. great dude. Less of an photogenic ig-worthy meal typa guy and more of a blackstone warrior who can make a mean hungover BEC for the Ajax and boys. A maryland public school kid, I'd bet he likes himself some Lor Scoota but can't be too sure nowadays. Probably is a better chef than McNaney (later on this list), but Lomac is shorter and stubbier and looks better on the ipad.

Colin Reich, St Joes (@coolinreich)

Coolin's social media now is all health, gritty test building meals and running, but his rise to stardom, at least in the lacrosse cooking scene dates back a few years to when he was interning for The Post Game podcast with nailguns Nick Ossello and Evan Molloy. If I recall correctly, they would invite guests onto the pod, ask them their favorite meal, have intern Coolin make it (he used to work in a food truck), and then try to feed it to homeless people. He has since given up on making a pcarc worthy chicken parm and sticks to eating just beef and sometimes honey stingers.

Jacob Hookman-Vassa, Loomis (@chef.vass)

Not actually college lacrosse player but just fucking loves food and was an absolute nailgun at loomis chaffee last year. He's been traveling the world and seems to be constantly mucking on something crazy. Vass has very distinguished taste, is a loomis alum, loves collared shirts, is hairy, I really wish this guy was rippin college lax somewhere like Middlebury or Colby because he's the perfect ambassador for the sport. Truly a wasted talent at Umiami, but chose the U for the 'umami of box' down south, whatever that means.

Logan McNaney, Maryland

Used to work in a food truck, used to wear husky pants, Lo 'mac gives me noah boat vibes and definitely got dirty with some urban baltimore mixed chicks while rehabbing his ACL. What he lacks in taste of women he has tenfold in taste in food, I mean for fucks sake he has a cheesesteak named after him which looks to have buffalo chicken tenders and queso on it. He don't give a fuck. I don't believe he has any more eligibility but I wouldn't be surprised if tilliman conjures some shit up to give him another year.

Brian Carcaterra, nailgun (@drunkenmeatball)

Definitely the better, or at least less weird brother, Bcarc has a deep bag of bag, cooking abilities, and probably an extensive wine cellar. Upperdecky HQ has been talking about trying to get him hired as our private chef in Montauk for years and would love his company while we discuss what to do with a large plot of land in Manhattan.

Honorable Mentions

Connor Theirault

Maybe not a renowed chef but he loves to eat, drinks a dr pepper at halftime every game, and is gross. The path from ivy league -> tampa is certainly the less traveled one but the chicks down there are gonna love the dad bod and he'll probably get kicked out for doing blow or something.

Walker Wallace (probably)

I know nothing about his cooking ability but this guy will smoke anyone going niche interest for niche interest so I wouldnt be surprised if he makes homemade pasta with his girl like 6 days a week.

Entire UMass goalie room

Idk if these guys can cook but i know they can fucking eat. Like Sean Sconone and Matt Knote, even the backups this year Tyler Bluse and Ryan Mazzariello, all of them under 6 foot and over 230. These guys are no stranger to Domino's but definitely a stranger to Myfitnesspal. Cannella knows what he likes and it works but I would hate to be behind these fellas in the dining hall or use the chipper bathroom after them.

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