It's been a hell of a weekend in the 'Cac, and all of D3. I caught some nose infection from some random UNE chick after snorting glass out of her twat but on another note, I'm pumped to join the firm, and I got a rusty trombone from my girlfriend Alyssa to celebrate this amazing step in my career. The Bowdoin and Trinity trains are chuggin and I couldn't be happier. Williams and Amherst, the 2 biggest obstacles to Bowdoin's success last year were quickly finished off 14-6, and 19-8. Williams played like a shell of itself, and many of the guys in their jersey crew didn't even try to challenge their matchups. Fucking disgraceful for the Ephs.
Amherst did try though, and they got absolutely clamped. Bob Gross was put in a straight-jacket by Nate "Moose" Ryan and held without a point the first time in his career. While he is Amherst's best player, the offense runs through him but doesn't actually get started by him. He's not very fast and not strong enough to bull his way in against the really strong defenders. So if stallions like Zack Goon and Colin Campbell are locking up the middies and Jack Pyne is clamping their most athletic attackman Brendan Rielly, then it looks pretty bad for him. All the mom's and the bleacher bunnies were so dry watching the Amherst offense, I would've started a fire if I pointed a magnifying glass toward their snatches.
Bowdoin however gaped almost every single one of those guys. Ethan Barnard had a sick battle with Nick Kopp at the X. Alyssa was playing with herself a little when she saw it and I can't blame her. When EB is healthy, he is the best FOGO in d3 no doubt. Will Byrne is the best player in all of D3 period. And Robert Hobbs has been playing like his life depends on it, he's been quick on all the saves and set up a brick wall in net. Last but definitely not least, Jack Pyne is the Will Bowen of the Nescac and keeps playing like it.
Meanwhile, Trinity has been on the absolute warpath, running a train on teams, and then cleaning out all the birds in a 10 mile radius. Don't be surprised if half the college students 20 years later in the Northeast are descendants of Bo Page and the rest of the Trinity lacrosse team. He's just a freshman but he's been getting the lions share of muff among all the fellas. But there is so much to go around for this team, it might not much matter. Trinity has amazing birds, but these nail guns show no mercy and they know better than anyone, a lion pride can't have just one lioness. Tyler DiSimone, Andrew Bailey, and Nick Pecora are all nailguns.
Rory McAloon is a stud, his jawline can cut diamonds and his two older sisters are absolute rockets. He can do work on both ends of the field, and Trinities jersey crew might be cooler than William's jersey crew at this point. It's been snowing in Hartford, and the boys have been hitting the slopes game after game. Their stock is rising faster than my cock when I look up Sydney Sweeney naked on Celebjihad. Can't wait to see what this squad is made of when they hit the Nescac tournament.
Lastly, Plymouth State doubled up Mass Maritime 14-7. Plymouth State is located in New Hampshire, and they have a good amount of brunettes who wear beanie hats while you hit em raw. Also, there is a surprisingly high amount of lot-lizards, and that's where the weapons on this team get their rocks off before each game, right behind the deli for 15 cents a piece. These boys are the beauties of the LEC, and I can see them getting an at large bid at the very least.