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Gregs thoughts on the week ahead.

Hey guys if anyone has any reccs on these bumps on my shaft, I’ve been a tad worried ever since those two Malaysians came over. Very well could be Margaret from the 23rd floor in our HR department, but my best guess is the two samurai that drank all my fucking Tito’s. I’m pretty horned up for the weekend, contacted my illegals for some blow, they also do my lawn work for my Nantucket cottage. Rodriguez has some serious connections, kids only 14 but he must be a big deal with that plethora of hard drugs.

Starting with today, expect Georgetown to royally fuck Dartmouth. I genuinely forget Dartmouth is a D1 team, I think Taft could fuckin beat those vaginas. Uva will rape Albany as well expect 8 beanos from Cormier tonight.

Wednesday we got duke vs cuse. Another great rivalry game, Marcus and I will be splitting a bottle of Macallans 18 and having a boys night in his man cave. We just mounted a moose head up there overlooking the golf sim. This is dukes first real test in my eyes, we know the Penn game doesn’t count. Hoping to see big Billy Dwan fucking decapitate someone to get my meat juicing. Expect a heater and let’s collectively rub one out pregame.

Friday, Pres, Chetty and I will be on site at BU in our sigma peaky blinders outfits to hopefully get us laid. Nevermind actually, Bostonian birds are known for being buttfuck ugly. Expect army to do whatever they want all game with Colletti having an average game at 85% from the dot. Army strong WOOOOOOO. Nervous as fuck to see Burek in person, he’s so handsome and what not, hope he doesn’t think I’m too clingy. Just popped a chub.

Saturday, back in Charlottesville to watch the Drexel vs uva tilt and I’ll be tuggin it all game to a picture of drew mcgill standing next to big country and those gorgeous calves. Ever seen drew shirtless guys? It’s basically a fucking sculpture of god underneath that chest protector. Told kluepfel to hammer the spread, he yelled at his dad for some more funding I believe. Post game you'll see me and Cormier at chipotle telling those minimum wage fucks to not be stingy with the fucking chicken.

Some Ivy League games, I’ll be asleep for those. Might watch Cornell, they seem to be getting me horned up from time to time. Ivy League is still gay though.

Maryland will run up an amateur teen ebony gangbang upon Michigan all game, shoutout Erksa and mcnaney. They need a bounce back and Michigan is on the verge of being frauds.

Richmond vs georgetown has Saturday night heater potential, Dalton young vs banksy. Two players this firm absolutely fucking loves and would probably willingly let their wives get molested by. Winner of this game gets our mango juul pod stash. I know Madonna is sweating over that shit.

Finally, on Sunday, expect duke to officially confirm our thoughts about Denver being a joke and not a tournament team. Penn st and Hopkins parlay is an absolute lock.


If you think I forgot about Quinnipiac, don’t worry. They’ll beat Marist by 204 I would think. The pacc continues to prove the libs wrong. Mason oak, I will make sure you’re working at blackrock post college. This woke agenda being pushed my Kamala and the ncaa committee to sleep on the pacc is starting to get ridiculous. Fuck you libs.

Probably the best fan base in sports as well, I need to attend a god damn game. I’ve heard the parents are willing to scrap pretty much anyone and throat some manhattans in the parking lot both before and after the game. Donnery brothers both got laid over the weekend. Nailgun university.


That’s all gentlemen, I’ll be at a Weezer concert with my wife Barbara and her boyfriends Gavin Adler and kevin Winkoff tonight so may not be as active responding to your dms. It’s golfing season again too, time to grab these cart girls by the skirt and enjoy some brews at the CC. My middle son, Thatch just got an offer to play golf at bama. Give him a congrats when you get the chance. Easily my favorite son, Gunnar is a fucking piece of shit.


Cheers,

Gregory Pendleberry Swisher.

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