This is one of the best seasons of lacrosse that we’re currently witnessing. Like 10 different teams I could see winning the ship this year. Probably gonna be Notre dame but still like there’s a chance. Had a nice 4 day excursion with my Irish Wolfhound Bludger and my Tibetan mastiff Pythagoras to the state of New York. Just a heads up for the boys, do not buy every can of reddi whip at the same store. We all love whippets but man these SUNY Brockport birds were dying laughing at me. Skanks for sure.
Starting with the Auto bid conference winners, here are my current predictions.
Starting in the ACC, it’s notre dame. No need to explain this one. Chance they lose to uva though as we see every damn year. Team is such a wagon. They are a near lock for the 1 seed as well.
Atlantic 10 winners will be none other than the Spiders. Currently hating on Dalton young, but the rest of the boys make up for it. St Joe’s is tough though, that game will be fucking awesome. So much fent done on both sides of the ball.
America East will send Bryant to represent their conference. If you think it’s Albany, it’s a valid choice, but you’re also a fucking bum. Johnny Hackett and Nato Laliberte have been ripping HGH since the age of 2. Bulldogs are always scary in the postseason. Would love to see them give a top 4 team a run in round one.
Atlantic sun winners will be Jacksonville? Bruh does anyone know anything about this conference? What the fuck is a Cleveland state? Lindenwood is a sleeper here. They love acid. Whoever wins this shit, take their opponent to cover the spread in round one, it will hit.
I have Johns Hopkins winning the big 10. Look though boys this shit is wide open. I’m liking hop a lot right now but every big 10 game is close and steez. #ferds conference. I’m thinking 2 other teams get in. Clear 2nd best conference imo, they deserve three squads getting into the tourney.
Big east is a toss up between gtown and Denver. After this weekend, I have to say fucking Denver. These guys touch no bag and the birds will be at the hockey house for the next 7 years. Unfortunately, I think it will be a two team conference even if only the conference winner deserves it.
CAA tournament has heater potential. I do think Delaware would be my favorite to win it, but do NOT sleep on the tigers. Recently saw a video of their starting tendy snorting pow off Lisa annes back. These gooners are fun to watch, would be nice to see them return to the tourney. Ryan drenner did so many drugs in college apparently, stud.
Ivy League winner has to be Cornell. Cornell might actually be a contender. Didn’t think any Ivy’s were gonna be close to the final four but Cornell continues to impress. I’ve heard kirst is like the nicest guy on the planet, probably dabbles in the ketamine community as well. Can’t believe I’m saying this about an ivy team, but go big red.
MAAC. You’re all losers if you pick any team other than Quinnipiac. The committee hates these blue collar crowbars. Had a vision of them all riding on the back of grotesquely large bobcats into Lincoln financial. Mason oak recently gained control of the 2nd largest oil field in Saudi Arabia. His cash flow charts are always green. Henny and I beat the shit out of a terrorist last weekend after macking face with some lax groupies. WOOO.
Last but not least, Army to come out of the Patriot League. Another super underrated conference, even if they don’t win it, I do believe they should get an at large. Colletti better get healthy and I need to give Burek a shirt but they looked like the early season version of themselves this weekend. Hope they don’t get sent to Iran before the tourney starts. Also boys, is it stolen valor if I rep yalls colors? Please help with this one.
For the 7 at large teams, it shouldn’t be a big surprise for most of ya.
Starting with the obvious, Duke. Dominant win this weekend, the devils are back. Yes I dislike duke, but it’s weird when they’re not good. When they’re good I can truly unleash my deep hatred.
Next we got UVA. Shaky performance but I bet these dudes are fuckin heated about that. Cormier is still the most handsome guy in division 1 and angry shelly can be a menace. Super sad Truitt got hurt though, not sure if I’ll be able to make it through the week.
Syracuse will also get an at large. If the ACC isn’t a 4 team conference, the committee actually deserves jail time. You could damn well make the argument they are the best 4 teams in the country. Nuff said. Jordan Vincent sold me crack last night.
Yale gets an at large as well. Actually the biggest group of dusters it’s crazy how many people hate these dudes. Expect a first round exit regardless. Wish nothing but the worst for these nerds.
Georgetown gets the bid simply because of the notre dame win. Maybe biased because I like the Hoyas, but they’re worrying me. Losing to Denver is simply unacceptable. Do better.
Last two teams come from the big ten. Maryland and Penn state are my predictions but look out for Rutgers making a run. When you have knobloch on your team, you know the boys are always higher than monkey balls and mucking beav on the weekends. Maryland seems to be heating up, would not be surprised if they make a run in the tourney. Penn state looks like the best team in the country at times, and then shit the bed at others. No in between for them, need some consistency boys. Posey is such a man rocket I get chubbed just typing his name up.
That’s all boys, obviously a lot will change, but this is currently who I think gets in. In a dream world, only one Ivy gets in and two PL or 4 big ten teams get in. Unfortunately though, the committee gets secret payments from the Ivy League as we all know. Almost that time of the year, but it’s meth Monday so I hope everyone has a solid bridge to sit under and have some fun.
Cheers,
Gregory Pendleberry Swisher the 9th.