20. NJIT (6-0)
19. Penn
Fluke ass win, go back to Epstein's island and stop giving players adrenochrome
18. UNC
Fun team, that can potentially make some noise, Duffy is the entire offense though, they need to step up big time.
17. Richmond
16. Quinnipiac
Teams buzzing like a fuckin bee, keep it going undefeated season on the way.
15. Rutgers
14. Princeton
You know what this is rare from me but Ill give an Ivy some compliments you know kabiri can shoot it really well. Just fucking kidding, this team just shows off only ripping outside shots and once you shut that down they are dogwater. Fuck Princeton.
13. Yale
Can't say my colleague Marcus could've predicted this any better, and don't think I'm buying into this team's hype one bit when they beat Denver next weekend.
12. Michigan
11. Georgetown
10. Cornell
Thanks for covering the spread fellas, all I have to say.
9. Syracuse
I mean honestly not even sure what to think at this point. If they don't win this next tilt they're likely toast.
8. Penn State
This team is a goddamn rollercoaster, had me drinking some Evan Williams at 12:31pm on a Saturday seeing the boys were down 8-1 to those scumbags over at Yale, however after a few elf bar hits Tj Malone went nuclear and saved not only my parlay but my marriage. Thank you, Tj!
7. Duke
Not sure what to think of this team, I mean Brennan Oneil got absolutely railed by Brendan "Wide Neck" Lavelle, and not only that you get absolutely shut down by fucking Penn. Seems like Brennan has checked out and is ready to go get jerked off by RJ Kaminski in the PLL, you know who hasn't checked out? Josh fucking Zawada, this guy is sneaky the current tewaarton Front Runner, he gets more birds and more genos then brennan, call me a madman but this is not a ridiculous take.
6. Maryland
Still think highly of this team despite the loss, offense is definitely there just needs to get dialed in for a few more games, should be pretty easy to get it going against brown this weekend
5. Virginia
Tough loss, not much to say other than give Big Country the rock
4. Notre Dame
This team rebounded heavy, had a tough time watching the broadcast though due to the sheer amount of glazing on the Kavanaugh brothers but a nice win for the Irish.
3. Denver
You are out of your mind if you think I will rank a team that was tied with fucking lemoyne at half number 1 in the country, like I'm honestly being generous putting them at 3. Did I take them to cover, Yes, Did I take the over, Yes, did I go 500$ in the red after these didn't hit? Maybe. But it doesn't matter, this team is about to get fraud checked soon enough
2. Hopkins
I could care less about the Denver loss, that was like a one in a million play, this team is playing out of their mind right now. Offense absolutely shredded Uvas defense and made Matt Nunes go back to his old ways of being straight dogwater. I mean Garret Degnon was sitting in the pocket and delivering the rocket.
Army The team is full of missiles, quite literally and they just keep on rolling. Nothing beats the grit of this squad which is the clear reason they're number 1, I mean what can you do against a dart-smoking, machine gun-shooting, terrorist-killing squad like this. I mean these boys are ripping plastic bottle whiskey every chance they get and popping chubs for the Pizza slice MRE. This squad is full of talent at every position, don't be surprised if they fuck around and win a natty.