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Weekend preview: From the whole staff?

Oswald Van Bismark: Michigan vs. Delaware

Honestly I don’t really give a rats ass about this game but I’m so hung over from last nights Jaeger and Cokes that I’ll have to tap in. I also did 5 8balls last night so I’m still pretty strung out  This game could go either way but I see Michigan coming up with the win. Delaware can definitely keep it close though but they will need to keep an eye on Michael Boehm so he doesn’t cook up any crystal meth. Delaware has an abundance of hot sloots on campus so all the boys should be getting some vicious head tonight. An abundance of riches one may say….hopefully it’s a barn burner because I’m tired of watching pretty boy lax and want to see two blue collar teams duke it out.

Marcus Meadowcroft: Yale vs Penn St

After a year in which they trounced the Ivy League and made it to championship weekend, the Penn state nittany lions are looking to prove themselves after an early season loss to Colgate. The same Colgate who got fondled by Yale 21-11 last week, but also the same Colgate that’s been a sneaky trap game for any ranked team this year. Now the Yale bulldogs face penn state, and by the look of the teams games vs Colgate, Yale should run a train on the boys from happy valley and this game should be over within the half. I think otherwise. Penn state has a dynamic offense with returners TJ Malone and Matt traynor, and adds freshman Kyle ‘2 pump’ Lehman, following in the footsteps of Kevin winkoff. Yale has Brandau and that’s it besides when Johnny Keib decides to turn up for like one dodge a game. I see Penn states defense holding Yale in check and the game coming down to faceoffs unless Jeff tambroni lets the boys have their way with some elf bars and tri delts at halftime.  I just want both teams to have fun, except for Yale.

Greg Swisher: UVA vs Johns Hopkins

Payton Cormier is simply the best player in the sport right now. Guys mitts are lined with Egyptian silk, that pass to McCabe last week made my wife soak our new Modular 11-seater U sectional velvet couch. Shit was 20 grand Big Country, what the hell. I don’t see a way in hell UVA loses this one. Faceoffs they’ll dominate, Hopkins defense doesn’t stand a chance unless Shelly and the boys are hittin nose beers and adderal shooters with the Chi Phi boys tonight. McCabe is scoring 6 tomorrow that’s the only prediction I’ll really make. If Hopkins is going to stand a chance, it’s up to hunter “never say never” chauvette and Jacob “Slimjim” Angelus. Angelus has looked elite this year, I’m guessing kastner will be on him all game and that will be tough. If Cormier and McCabe score a total of 10, I’m buying a new ‘fuck me silly 3000’ to celebrate.

Loud and Heavy Big Country.

Tanner McCormick: Notre Dame vs Maryland

Notre Dame’s L to Georgetown stung for sure. The issue is, Notre Dame didn't play bad, they just got outwilled and outworked. PKav, to most people's surprise, got locked the fuck up by Georgetown's stud freshman defenseman and he'll most likely be covered by the best pole in the country tomorrow in Zappitello. That's going to be the matchup to watch, but I wouldn't expect PKav to be as quiet as he was last week either way. I expect Dobson and the midfield to be carrying a lot of the load today. Notre Dame also has Liam Entenmann, a true American who loves nothing more than eating shots in his shins and immediately sending that shit for a fast break the other way. Notre Dame having home field advantage is going to be big for them as well, and they beat Maryland on the road last year in triple OT.

Maryland is a team that I've felt over the last two seasons hasn't had any "household names" on offense the way that ND does, but their offense is collectively one of the best in the country. That's pretty fucken hard to do. Erska, Malever and Spanos are the Terps' leading point producers at the moment so we should see their attack unit buzzing. Maryland somehow always has some of the grittiest DMids around and this year is no exception, and with a solid defensive unit and goaltender situation in McNaney, their defense is going to be just as much of a problem for ND as Georgetown was. I think Wierman will edge ND in the faceoff category as well, that dude is a fucken stallion. Maryland certainly hasn't forgotten last year's result against ND and with their early exit in the tournament, they'll be firing on all cylinders. The Terps are also looking to stay undefeated, and unlike ND, they didn't lose their first game against a real team.

Chet Rutherfurd: Duke vs Princeton

Honestly not even sure what to think of Duke, I mean they went out there last night and just shit the bed I mean the only one finding twine was Aiden fucking Danenza. O’Neil got shut down by some incoming Goldman Sachs analyst and not to mention they still didn’t throw in the Kaiser until it was time to pull the goalie. Fucking bs I can see Princeton fraud checking them again. However definitely not sold on Princetons defense or their faceoff unit but their offense can definitely go to work (fuck Coulter Mackesy) and it showed against Unc last night. However this is a Duke team coming off of a loss and if Duke does not win this the Acc is absolutely fucked and the bs Ivy League narrative will start up again. That said I predict that Duke will get back on track should be a closer game though.

Let’s have a great weekend fellas.

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