Hey guys, it's Greg, I've returned from my much-needed vacation up on the Cape with fellow writer Chetty. Turns out I can still gun beers like an animal and hit the slopes with my mother-in-law whenever need be. I'm 46 years young and boy if I wasn't married these birds would be loving it.
(This is satire) (Don't need another lawsuit)
But back to the reason you're here. RJ Kaminski (pictured above) is the biggest nerd I've ever seen. He reminds me of the dust buckets that walk around wearing Duke Lacrosse shirts so people will think they actually play there. In reality, the best they can do is meat ride the local high school studs and take a couple of pictures with them so girls might give them attention. RJ has two loving parents, Neil Patrick Harris and Paul Rabil. They gave him everything in life, a sick Honda Civic, a wooden twig, and drove him to school every day until he was 26. If you're wondering why the PLL is getting any viewership, you guessed it, it's not because of this guy. If I finished up a game against some steamer like Jack Rowlett, the last thing I'd want to hear is "YOOOOOO MY GUY" from Mr. Kaminski. To be fair, he and Jack make a great couple, Jack is very protective of wittle RJ. He once beat the shit out of some 5-year-old who called RJ a bad word. Good job big Jack!!!
Some fun facts about RJ:
He loves long walks on the beach at sunset.
His favorite song is Watch Me by Silento.
His favorite drink is a Tequila Sunrise.
His favorite movie is Bridesmaids.
Nowadays, RJ just whips out his Goat Lax sticker-covered Nalgene water bottle and Macbook Pro and edits all his epic vlogs on Jack's lap. The man ruining the league for me is just relentless. Guy still thinks "sick flow" is a babe slaying 12 gauge. Kids never worked a real job a day in his life. Just another soft-handed, dude-loving, big ole sissy boy. I recently asked a former national champion why he chose not to continue playing professionally and he said RJ would constantly wave and then run and hide behind the concession stands giggling up a storm. That's how you pull dudes RJ!!!
The league isn't cool until Matt Gaudette returns and Evan Zynn is on a squad.