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Gregs Top 20 (Division 1)

20. Quinnipiac

Coolest bros in the country. If this was list was based on beaver munched, these guys would be a clear number one. Woodcock is the man. Ethan Mcgerald spent the fall hammering Andy Towers ex-wife. Expecting big things from this group.

19. Richmond

Dalton young on a top 10 team would be a Tewaarton Finalist. If Lance Madonna spends more time on the practice field and not at the Aphi house, he might score 30 this year. Handsome fella I will say. Go spiders.

18. North Carolina

Feels like a sin putting any ACC team behind ivy leagues but here we are. Still in a bit of a rebuilding process but I can’t imagine they’ll be an easy win for non ACC teams.

17. BU

Great city Great team. BU alum on our staff(bit of a fag sometimes).

16. Delaware

Almost beat duke don’t forget. Idk what else to say.

15. Michigan

Would be cool if they’re good.

14. Denver

Honestly not sure why they’re always ranked to start the year they haven’t been good since the Cannizzaros ran the country.

13. Princeton

They have been recruiting well recently. Probably the only Ivy League team I don’t despise

12. Rutgers

Bruh idk

11. Georgetown

Have heard reports that the number 1 d pole recruit has been a monster for the Hoyas. Can’t imagine they’re a big threat to win it all, but I wouldn’t want to play these guys.

10. Yale


9. Cornell

Not as big of pussies

8. Syracuse

If they can’t succeed this year Gary gait may be a goner. My great uncle Braxton is fed up with Gary at this point.

7. John’s Hopkins

Might be a little overhyped but I get chubbed up when a blue blood returns to greatness. Angelus had sex with Chet’s daughter over the summer, good kid.

6. Maryland

Would be lower if Ajax Zapatello wasn’t here. We will see if any 26 year old transfers ball out for the terps as well. Big Wiener Wierman is going to be a monster.

5. Army

Just wanna play some tummy sticks with these fellas. Plunkett is an absolute crowbar.  Aj Pilate climbed Everest over break. Reese Burkconquered Mongolia. Poised for a run this year. Need these boys to get a Dewalt Sponsorship. As Gordo Ogilvey would say, gay porn hard fellas.

4. Penn St

Hard to put these guys over anyone in the big 3, but they’re without a doubt next up. Posey is the best pole in the country. Other than that, Tj and Matt are hammers and fracyon in net will get the Tri Delts flooding the student section. Fun fact: Grant Haus has several wives.

3. Duke

Expect them to lose to who gives a fuck university and then end up still playing come championship weekend. If Brennan can’t win a title, it would be tragic. Wake up this year fellas.

2. Notre Dame

Cousin Dobson and the kavanaughs. Should be all I need to write about them but brother entemann is also the best goalie in the country.


Big country Cormier is back. Shelly is back. Pookie Bear Truitt is back. McCabe has arrived. Question mark is their defense but i would think they have the best offense in the nation. Also faceoffs could be an issue but i think desouza will step up. Truitt caught a Charizard last week in Pokemon Go you should all text him a big congrats.

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