top of page

Fuck chase mullins and Penn State rocks



5 straight victory royales for the nitts and there is still a lack of respect for the nitts in the national media. carc hasn't said a word about the two-headed skull fucking dragon conducted by the wrench's of TJ Malone and Matt Traynor. 59 points between the two and 108 women shared in the bedroom. Trips to Paris have been conducted all season by these two man rockets and they still don't skip a beat on the turf. 


Rumor has it that Matt Traynor has a 22 inch godzilla hog which is why he wears the number 22. His main goal is to let the aphi's know what they have the pleasure to work with while he tucks bingo after bingo past fraudulent ivy goalies. If 22 isn't a first team all american i'm reaching out to my buddy al-shafir al-safadi, he's Iran's number one war pilot and doesn't miss the mark when crashing planes.


Ethan "12-inch dong" Long is the most balanced scorer in the NCAA. 8 and 8 on the first midfield unit as the 5th option is not to shabby. They can't give the kid the ball too much because it will expose that he has three legs. 


There is word going around that Jack Posey (i've got 43 latina hookers lined up for you whenever you need shoot me a message) and Kevin Parnham (chickenparnfiftyfive on IG, sick username) are coming back soon. The defense has already run through the Ivy league like it's my older sister bethany running through the football team. God bless her anal cavity and her rectum, they'll both need help down the line. Alex ross is rolling underneath every radar like fentanyl did with the CDC. If i don't get my legal prescription of fentanyl back in this next administration the boys may have to buckle in for another date with the capitol on january 6th. 


Jack Fracyon says no to rubbers. He made his name for turning aside rubber over at Bullis and turns aside the rubber better than any other goalie in the conference and damn near the nation. Im not talking about the rubber balls here, we're talking about rubbers in bed. No magnum fits his huge cock and rumor has it that the DGs and KDs are fighting over who gets him next. 


*Live gambling odds 

DG: +225

KD: +175

Tri-Delt: +5000


Can't talk Penn State ball without a mention of CBUM Calandrino. Kid benches 400 lbs during the week and looks like a fucking stallion on the sidelines every game. His daily caloric intake is protein shakes, zeta box, and rare steak. Sometimes he'll have a sweet potato too. Coach Tambroni is going to fuck with that pussy Tillman so hard when he throws CBUM in the game just to annihilate the cranium of Malever or Erksa. Fuck your glove issue Tillman, what happens when you don't have that ATL flare? faggot.


Also fuck chase mullins, if you cost this team another natty because you can't win draws then pack your bag. The ugly freshman that wasn't number 1 in his class is dominating you this year pigeon. UNC could use you back pussy.

761 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page